COWS TO CAMEL TOES

Cows to Camel Toes

I have learned there are some things about your childhood that spill over into your adulthood. 

This is going to be a delightful story of how such magical things happen.

As a child, work ethic was high on the priority list. We worked for what we wanted. 

So in the mornings we would get up early to mow lawns (my family had a landscaping business) and we would go slop the pigs, walk the property, check the hen house, feed the cows, feed the horses, put compost on the worm bed, check the peach orchard, the grape vines, go through the garden, cut potatoes to plant them in the ground again to grow, check the bees, feed the dogs, feed the cat, check the oil/gas in the weed eater/lawn mowers/chainsaws and a few more chores....

Needless to say these events did not require getting dressed up. Actually quite the opposite. Comfort was key.

So let's fast forward to present day Los Angeles, CA. The City of Angels Grooming.

Any time I walk my dog Falkor or have to run errands...I do not see the need to get dressed up. 

And if I have on makeup...it is probably from the night before. Don't worry...I shower...just no need to before a work out.

 

There was on particular morning I woke up extremely early. I had this crazy burst of energy to go work out. There is this place in Los Angeles called Runyon Canyon. If you have not been or if you come visit...you have to go to Runyon Canyon for the best view of LA.

PHOTO VIA: http://runyoncanyon-losangeles.com

Runyon has different ways to go up the mountain. So this particular day I thought I would be aggressive and take the steep side, especially since no one was around to see me potentially fall and roll down the mountain.

I went full force. All the way up the side of the mountain without stopping.

I get to the top. It was peaceful. It was quiet. Except for my heavy breathing....

So I am hunched over....breathing like I am taking my last breath...

My hair that was once in a groomed behind-the-head ponytail is now in a messy 80s side ponytail.

PHOTO VIA: http://www.80sfashion.org/side-ponytail/

The makeup from the night before looked like I was taking on the role as Alice Cooper because I was sweating so bad.

PHOTO VIA: http://www.wapl.com/index.php/Interactive/Blogs/Road_Show/R/2507

And then to top it off...I had what I call the WORK OUT CAMEL TOE. That is when your work out pants bunch up from lifting your legs up and creating a camel toe. 

GIF VIA: http://www.moderngent.com/media/before_after_camel_toe_300x269.gif

 

So here I am in all my glory. But I was ok with it because no one was around.

Or so I thought.

I look up through the sun rays and saw a figure that shortly followed me up the side of the mountain. 

It all happened in slow motion. So perfect. The sun hitting just right. I may have heard angels singing.

But none other than Ryan Gosling running without his shirt on. 

RYAN.gif

GIF VIA: http://giphy.com/gifs/ceCPZAH6sCUU0

 

He casually comes to a stop. Of course he does because only on a day that I looked like an 80s-Alice Cooper-Camel Toed-Sweatball would he stop. 

And did I mention I am pretty sure he was not sweating or a hair out of place.

So he looks over at me and smiles and says "Hey.."

RYAN_SMILE.gif

GIF VIA: http://giphy.com/gifs/mUtefiUpJHUfC

I say "Hey..." back in a very breathy way...not because I was trying to be sexy...but because I could not breathe after scaling a mountainside....

Now most would take advantage of this time with Ryan Gosling...

Instead of doing so...my reaction was well...dumb...

Out loud I said "Awwwww fuck it...I give up...just keep moving on....yeah...go on..." as I am waving Ryan to pass me while I was hunched over like I was about to go to the bathroom on top of the mountain. 

Of course he laughed and said "Oh ok...have a good day..." and continued on....

And yes as he ran off I did take a look over my shoulder...you would too if a half-naked RG was running past you...

After a few minutes I collected myself and then proceeded down the hill. 

I wish I could tell you that I learned my lesson to be a bit more presentable when I go out because you never know who you are going to run in to...but..... 

Screen Shot 2014-02-04 at 10.09.05 PM (1).png

Oh and if this blog entry happens to make it to Ryan Gosling...call me...

1277654_629416800436800_927523955_o.jpg